wall

i am inside this wall

its epithets burnt

from listlessness

and tempered with

lost edges

i am not contained

as much as cut in

like a final movement

needing to end

and knowing its stay

is short and executor

the coolness surprises me

and its mendacity lending

openness to such end

i rest in the ambivalence

claiming it as love

and not as lost

the muse is not silent

but she mouths demons

and they will not claim me

for i resist, i whisper

in jesus name as a mantra

holding back my remorse

fighting the wayward notes

in my mind as mahler did

dissonance becoming him

me now, me now, me

and so i push against the wall

as sisyphus to his stone

promontory hard but elusive

and push to still all dark

closing my eyes i advance inside

to avoid the manifest insiders

wall to wall the remainder

of lingering promise is silent

as the words of the end